Echoes of Slander, Whispers of Doubt

On gossip and slander (let’s keep it light):

Don’t do it, right? Don’t gossip about people, don’t slander others. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

But why?

I’ve always assumed those rules exist so we don’t hurt other people (IE, don’t gossip about Teddy because if Teddy hears what you said, Teddy’s feelings will be hurt), and while I maintain that belief (and don’t want to hurt Teddy’s feelings), I’m realizing there’s more to it.

As I am pushing my limits and casting my vision for goals that are bigger and badder than anything I’ve previously allowed myself to dream, I hear voices in my head. You’re probably familiar with your own version of these voices. First and foremost, I hear an echo of my own voice. I also hear echoes of people I respect, and whose respect I aim to keep.

When I’m working on making progress on my big goals, these phantom voices often creep in (Is she even qualified to do that? Who does she think she is? How long will she stick with THIS idea? She charges HOW MUCH?), and although these whispers aren’t literally real, they also aren’t figments of my imagination. They’re words and tones and scoffs from conversations I’ve participated in…about other people. About “Teddy,” if you will.

What a mess. No one is winning, and frankly, none of the negative talk is even based in reality. More likely, it’s based in jealousy or ignorance or a close cousin of one of those words.

As much as I say what other people think about me is none of my business, as long as I’m worrying about other peoples’ business, I can’t truly let go of what others may or may not think of me. How can I take brave risks and move with confidence if I’m afraid people around me are quietly discrediting me? I’m too bought into the idea that credibility and value lie in the eye of the beholder.

A thought on fighting imposter syndrome: quit mentally (and verbally) categorizing others as imposters, and instead see them as contributors, innovators, and image-bearers. If those are the categories other people fill, then they’re the categories I must fall into as well.

In this context, “imposter” doesn’t need to be a category at all. Credibility and value lie in the eye of the Creator.